What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
