so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
