I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
