were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
