God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize