Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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