For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
