do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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