Don't you send me to vm
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize