Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
