Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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