He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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