dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
