The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
