I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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