My pussy is not your playground.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
