You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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