Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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