Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
