we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
