I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
