don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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