i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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