i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
