the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
