Christians are straight up FREAKS
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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