so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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