Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Randomize
