if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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