This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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