I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize