It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
