It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize