First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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