butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
