my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
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