dude i'm inner monologue high
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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