Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Randomize
