I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Come back. Shots need mouths.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
