in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
