You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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