i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
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