I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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