so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
