He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
