Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
