I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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