are you still at the devil's house?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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