whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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