i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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