omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
