Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
