you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
