i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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