Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
