But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize