Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
