That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
