i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
