He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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