How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
