woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
