So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize