Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
