Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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