i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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