do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
So squirting runs in the family.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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