he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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