Dude my mom stole all your condoms
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
