i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
