Can Purell be used as lube?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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