Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
